I’m not that interesting
How have you been? How is work? Your health? Your family? Life in general?
…
I see. Glad/Sorry to know (as appropriate).
I’ll be honest. By that point in the conversation I’m more likely to be bored than not. Chances are, most of what I’m being told will evaporate from mi mind in very little time, and a day or two later I won’t be able to recall if someone was ill, changed jobs, whatever. It get bored even of listing these things.
I have real problems asking people about their life. It is not that I don’t care about people. I do. Especially if something is wrong, I can invest a lot of time and effort, I make sacrifices in order to listen and help. It is just that once action is not required my attention naturally drifts away from daily events. And not even those from others, even from my own. Often I cannot recall what I did last week or have trouble saying anything when others ask me about my own life.
I know that each of us is unique, that each of us has a rich life deserving of attention. Norms demand that we also become influencers, that we collect hundreds of followers who read our every thought and celebrate our every selfie and meal… yet, I seem unable to engage with any of that.
You might be surprised in hearing that. You can maybe attest to very long conversations which I deeply enjoy. You would be right, I love conversation, debate, or even just listening to something interesting for hours on end. The issue is that I do not enjoy talking about you, me or them. There is a very old epigram (circa 1901) that says: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and little minds discuss people.” I’m not sure how true it is as a measure of someone’s mind, but it is certainly a good scale to measure my interest and my ability to recall the conversation later on.
If I take my life as an example, it would be hard to know why other people would be interested in hearing about it. Don’t get me wrong, my life is critically important to me and a few others that are impacted by it, by degrees. I’m also very satisfied with my personal story. I even have a few good stories and misfortunes that make for good examples or fun retelling. But the day-to-day things? Meh. There are certainly much more interesting stories out there: people doing great things, deeply influential or insightful ideas, surprising or worrisome events. Hell, there is even fiction.
So don’t ask me what I’ve done, and please forgive me if I don’t or if later I cannot recall. Ask me perhaps what’s on my mind, and we can see where that takes us.
If you are reading this at all, it would make you an exception. Almost no one reads the things I write, I’m not that interesting… and that is Ok.